Your mark in the world will disappear

Afro woman blowing soap bubbles outdoors

This is for all of you who overachieve, bust your ass on a daily basis, or feel pulled in several directions. If days/weeks/months fly by without even realizing how you’ve spent your time, life is too short for that!! Recent perspective shifts have changed my life — I hope this inspires. Love, Monica B.

Backstory: Since I was 20 years old, I’ve been trying to figure out how much stuff I can cram into a day. Because you know, I was supposed work my ass off in order to climb the corporate ladder. And then I would make good money (forget about being an artist! You’ll starve.) to buy a house and save for 401k and my children’s college funds. And frankly, I also wanted to make a mark in the world! Cause we’re supposed to, or something!! Well jeez, that’s a lot of stuff to think about, so I figured I better get crackin’ early. Because of those early beliefs, I’ve never had just one job. For 20 years I have consistently had a full time day job and a part time job, always. At one point I was working from 4:50am until 8:00pm. And yes, I had terrible vata aggravation — for years I never stopped moving. It’s felt like a constant chase.

2012 until recently: I had a 2.5 hour daily commute and a stressful, what felt like round-the-clock job managing a team of eight. I didn’t even like that job, yet all my time was spent doing it because I believed I had to in order to be “successful.” I consistently came home crabby and sad. My reprieve was my family and my book.

Ten days after I launched my beautiful book as part of my personal mission to “make millions of people healthy and happy,” (<–there’s that whole ‘mark in the world’ thing) my dog Blossom died. My heart broke. Everything stopped. My first thought was, “She left too soon. I should have taken her to the park more.”

Instant perspective change: Spend time doing what I love as much as possible. 

A few months later, we went to L.A. and saw a dinosaur exhibit at the museum. Dinosaur bones are 65 million years old. Do you know how flippin’ old that is?! Crazy old! Then I started thinking that dinosaurs probably were competing for territory. Some were probably squabbling over shelter or food. Some wanted to be the best dinosaur, ever! Maybe they had names or addresses. Maybe they built stuff. Maybe one was a saint. I bet some dinosaurs busted their ass to climb the corporate dinosaur ladder, only to arrive there disappointed. I’m sure T-Rex thought he was making his mark in the world. And then, *WHAM!* Meteors hit the earth and they all died. And that’s it. WTFruit?! Millions of years and they are wiped out just like that. They can be summed up in one sentence, “Dinosaurs once roamed the earth.” My stomach pitted when I realized that. What the heck have I been doing all these years and for whom? Cause…I just wanna laugh and paint!

More perspective: I will eventually become unknown or forgotten, so I can ease up on the over-achieving thing. 

Today: Since “more parks” and “dinosaur bones,” (my new mantras) I have chosen a different route. I no longer manage people. I work from home more often. I moved into a design & creative director role where I design all day long! My boss (she’s awesome) and teammates know that my life’s work is Ayurveda and in the near future, it will become my full time job. I started taking violin lessons again. I began cooking more. I hang with friends more. I spend more time outside. I started painting old trucks (I’m obsessed with old trucks but didn’t think they exactly “go” with Ayurveda. But since dinosaur bones, who cares! I’ll paint trucks if I want to). I am now centering my focus into delighting and inspiring people (you!) with whomever wants to join me. As a result of my new route, I AM HAVING SO MUCH FUUUUUN! I LOVE MY DAYS!!

So. If you knew that someday you will be completely forgotten, how would you live differently? If the only reason you are ‘busting your ass’ is to ‘make a mark in the world’, you are missing the point. Life is to be enjoyed. Marks in the world are not permanent. Dinosaurs die.

Whatever it is you do, enjoy your every day. You will find that marks or waves you desire to create will only come when you extract your best, most authentic self and have fun sharing your gifts. Life is short and marks in the world are not permanent anyway — just make your every day awesome. LOVE YOU with my BIG FUZZY HEART!!

If you want to support what I’m doing with Ayurveda and bringing MORE life goodies out there, grab a copy (and hold on tight, life is a wonderful ride!) of my book and spread the word on Amazon with a review! Xoxo!Buy_book_here

8 Responses to Your mark in the world will disappear

  1. Erika says:

    Aughhhhhh! I just read this! I get it! This concept was floating foggily in my mind for a while, but I never really put my finger on it. Thanks for making it crystal clear and explaining it so beautifully! It’s not a negative that we’ll be forgotten one day – it’s a relief! It’s permission! To LIVE while we are alive! I’m so glad you’re living the lesson! Thank you, as always. xoxox

    • Monica says:

      YES Erika!! That’s right. I don’t see it as negative either — it’s not depressing, it’s freeing!! Glad it resonated with you and truly it’s our time to LIVE! Right now. :) xoxo!

  2. Kim Breimeier says:

    I loved this! Your newsletter was sitting in my email all weekend as I drown my kapha sorrows in a very cold and wet weekend. I am glad to read it today, another rainy, wet, cold day. I am blessed to have a family that supports me figuring out my life. My kids are in school and I get to stay home. I have all day to support myself and do what I love. Too often, I spend too much time online reading about the things I love and talking to people who do the things I love, instead of doing the things I love. How crazy is that!

    Parks and dinosaur bones indeed.

    • Monica says:

      Ahhhh right, Kim!? YES! I really love this part, “Too much time online reading about the things I love and talking to people who do the things I love, instead of doing the things I love.” Take that to action – what is one thing you see online that you love that you can make REAL? and really do it? Parks and dinosaur bones!!! XOXOXO!

  3. Lois Kubota says:

    I’ve been living in this “can’t wait till this day is finished” thing for so long, it’s not funny. Instead of enjoying the day, I am sooooo done with each day and all it’s frustrations. So thanks for this. I need to change my perceptions!

    • Monica says:

      I feel you, Lois! And I bet so many other people do too. That’s no way to live – every day is a gift. So change perception and maybe change some action items to make your day more enjoyable. It’s a combo of both I think. But definitely gratitude helps!! And then little enjoyables inserted into each day. Sending love!!

  4. Monica says:

    *high five* Thanks Bettina!! And yes, make it good, every DAY!

  5. Bettina says:

    Thanks for sharing this new perspective change and for reminding me of what’s important. Congrats on the new life direction!

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